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Writer's pictureTiana Quitugua

Let Them Lead


child playing air hockey

Think you need to set up specific activities, buy new toys, or have your child sitting at a table to target speech and language? Think again! Having your child take the lead and building off of what they show interest in is a proven method of increasing communication. Why? When you follow a child’s lead and give them the words for their actions or gestures, it provides models that are meaningful for them in real-time.


Benefits of child-led interactions:

Child-led interactions allow your child to guide the activity and the play. Instead of structuring or controlling the activity with instruction and corrections, the parent or caregiver honors their interests while ensuring safety. When we follow a child's lead, we prioritize the connection we have with them over compliance. This approach leads to increased engagement and motivation, and creates significantly more opportunities for communication. This sets a great foundation for building meaningful communication and social reciprocity.


When you and your child are focused on the same things, the language you model during play becomes more relevant, motivating, and easier to understand. It also increases the likelihood that your child will pick up on the language you use! Following your child’s lead shows them you are interested in the same things as them which supports their attention and interaction skills. Additionally, it keeps the activity at your child’s level and gives them space and confidence to explore at their own pace.


What child-led interactions look like:

Let your child choose the toys, items, or activities. Observe your child before jumping in. Notice if they want to explore an item even if it's not a toy (anything can be a toy as is appropriate and safe!). Allow them to play and join in without taking over or giving direction. Show interest in what they are doing and copy your child’s actions, words, and sounds. Comment with relevant words, sounds, and actions during the activity. An important key here is to respond to their interests and not redirect their attention to something else.


Here is a quick summary for how to implement child-led interactions:

Your child picks what/how to play

Wait and notice before joining in

Comment on what catches their attention

Be flexible and follow their cues

Honor all communication


Examples in action:

Toys-If your child is making a toy animal eat, you could make another toy eat too. (Comment on what you and your child are doing “yummy, cow eat, chomp chomp, let’s drink water”)

If they are putting blocks in a basket, you can pass them blocks and items to put in (go in red, more blocks, here you go, I like blocks)

Books-If your child is putting a book on their head, you can put an item on your head too or play peek-a-boo with the book. (on my head, book hat, I see you, this is fun)

If they are using books as a house for other toys or as a drum, copy their actions and comment. (let’s play, in the house, bang boom bop, we did it)


Let them lead! This increases their motivation and encourages them to respond and engage more with you and their environment naturally.

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